I was posed that dreaded question today at the local supermarket.
I bumped into an old school chum who ran up to me staring at my stomach. She declared happily “So, are you having baby number three??” with the implying that I look like I had a bun in the oven.
At this question about ten responses went through my head.
- “Nope, I’m just a little round around the middle.”
- “Oh yes, I am having another… in five years”
- “Yes, there is an alien baby inside of me that goes by the name of ‘Flab’, I’ve grown to love it.”
- “Hmm.. guess I should have asked my husband this morning if this made my stomach look big, instead of my butt.” (and then laugh hysterically like it was so silly)
- “Do I LOOK Pregnant, lady?”
- “What time do you get off work, so I can kick your butt?”
- “Try having two kids and see how skinny you are.”
- “I’m trying out one of those pregnant belly’s because people treat me better.”
- “Damn, maybe I am but don’t tell my husband because it wouldn’t be his.”
- “No, lady, I’m just fat.”
*edited to add Papa Marc’s input*
11. “I’m pregnant with your moms baby”
Instead I just smiled politely at this confidence destroyer and said “Oh, no, I’m not having any more children!”
I completely disregarded her insult and continued the conversation with her like nothing had been said. We laughed, and smiled. All the while I could see her eyes battering herself inside for asking me something like that. And all the while I thought to myself… “Dude, Andrea, you need to lose weight or burn that outfit. Or both.”
Have you ever been horrified like this before?
